“Vic knelt by Lucas's side. 'You look like crap, by the way.' 'Thanks for breaking it to me gently.' Lucas took a… — Claudia Gray Copy Share Image
I hate the new facebook thing where it says when they seen your message, because I would rather think that they didn't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I still didn’t turn. Instead, I just listened really hard. I couldn’t tell where he was standing anymore, but I could sense… — Jaymin Eve, Trickery(Curse of the Gods Copy Share Image
Grief-stricken. Stricken is right; it is as though you had been felled. Knocked to the ground; pitched out of life and into… — Penelope Lively Copy Share Image
Do not stand,sit,climb,or lean on zoo fences.If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.Thank you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I have been working as an actor for 16-17 years now. The funny thing is I still feel awkward in communicating with… — Gong Yoo Copy Share Image
I wasn't that drunk! ... Bro, you picked up a little mexican girl & screamed, DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME! — Jazzjefferies Copy Share Image
Pie throwing is always a very funny incident. For a few seconds it takes away the dignity of authority. It's a thing… — Soupy Sales Copy Share Image
“When people visit my farm they often envision their dog, finally off-leash in acres of safely fenced countryside, running like Lassie in… — Patricia B. McConnell Copy Share Image
It's funny - when you look at the real A-listers nowadays, look at how many live in and around Hollywood. Most of… — Darren Boyd Copy Share Image
I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
“Talk about getting off tangent. My mother's friend may have just killed his wife and my parents are sitting there talking about… — Wendy Lichtman Copy Share Image
“The whole idea of losing one's virginity is kind of ridiculous. To lose something implies carelessness. A mistake that you can fix… — Sarah Ockler Copy Share Image
I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
The thing is, I was never really a comedian - a comedian would scoff at the notion of me as a comedian… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
Its my bad luck that I cant differentiate between a candle and a woman ;both are bound to burn. A candle burns… — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
“I snatched up the cardboard cup, plastered my lips to the plastic sippy-lid and sucked down a scalding hot mouthful. It burned,… — Ethan Day Copy Share Image
I can't tell you how many times I've had a friend tell me, in this tender and discreet voice, 'It's just you… — Devendra Banhart Copy Share Image
Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!" — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I think the best compliment you can receive is not, 'Oh, that was really funny,' but, 'Is that the first time you… — Erik Griffin Copy Share Image
We must not confide in the armour of God, but in the God of this armour, because all our weapons are only… — William Gurnall Copy Share Image
“I said: "All right, talk, but do you mind putting the gun away? My wife doesn't care, but I'm pregnant and I… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to… — Henry A. Kissinger Copy Share Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
When it comes to a show like 'Stath,' I'm not writing it with any intention other than my natural instinct as a… — Jamie Demetriou Copy Share Image
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and the cigarette were placed on prescription. — Malcolm Potts Copy Share Image
You think your smart but I have u all worked out, u may think your funny but I'll be the one laughing,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme… — Ernest Shackleton Copy Share Image
You can't do every movie - although I do a lot of them - and the thing I'm longing to do is...… — Lance Henriksen Copy Share Image
We are born at the rise of the curtain and we die with its fall, and every night in the presence of… — Micheal Mac Liammoir Copy Share Image
I got the wake-up call that no one is policing our oceans. I wondered, how can I do anything? What really can… — Angela Kinsey Copy Share Image
As a model, we come in the room, and we are casted just on our looks. I think I'm funny; I think… — Coco Rocha Copy Share Image
I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Nothing else loves me, nor ever will. Not even - especially - me. I know what I am and that's not a… — Jeff Lindsay Copy Share Image
There is a magical, unexplainable phenomenon that still occurs to this day where, however funny you think the material you've written is,… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
And I hope you find it, what your looking for, and I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be and… — Miley Cyrus Copy Share Image
It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing,… — Danny Boyle Copy Share Image
“It's delicious,’ he announces, chewing my sandwich. 'I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.' 'I… — Joanna Mazurkiewicz Copy Share Image
