“Do you think ladies’ eyebrows can communicate as well?” she asked. “No, they don’t have sufficient thicketry,” he said with authority. “Thicketry?”… — Anne Gracie Copy Share Image
It's so funny; I grew up in the Midwest, I have two older brothers, and you're just as competitive playing football as… — Jose Pablo Cantillo Copy Share Image
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don't… — Mackenzie Rosman Copy Share Image
I'm a natural clown, I suppose, in writing, and one has to accept that; I can't do anything about it. I have… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry.… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Robin [Williams], he's pretty dynamic. I had a lot of fun but I also felt like there was no onus on me… — Mandy Moore Copy Share Image
At 25.. Your parents are still giving you offering in church.. Bro, Forget it.. Rick Ross is sitting on your progress !!! — Nwaka Jeel Copy Share Image
If you only cute with make up on...then you're not cute, you're just good at face painting. You should do kids parties...you're… — Kathy Woodson Copy Share Image
I swear, if someone says another, Why so serious pun on me one more time I will go murder Heath Ledger in… — Ryan Cardenas Copy Share Image
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Some people think that when they say something and they think its funny but its not. They think that the person they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Madonna tour thing was definitely funny that - you know, children were crying watching us... and it was interesting seeing how… — Ad-Rock Copy Share Image
“Seth turns to Laney and I. "Three months ago, I'm in Detroit protesting a free trade conference, right? Some pig shoves me,… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a… — J. Vernon McGee Copy Share Image
It shouldn't be an issue that we have a black president. Gay marriage shouldn't be an issue. And women being funny shouldn't… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
A comedic look at the TV License, you stop paying it and you get clobbered, you pay the fine but continue to… — Sparki Dee Copy Share Image
Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
“Love is a damage made to the heart, violence, fate thats written, Changeable by distance, Breakable by time...!” — Honey Father Copy Share Image
It's funny because looking back at my first contest, I was 15 and surfing the Haleiwa contest wearing this tiny bikini. I… — Alana Blanchard Copy Share Image
The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing… — Brad Stine Copy Share Image
Real men want women of any age who like them, who want to make them feel good and raise their testosterone level. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The question that is so clearly in many potential parents' minds: 'Why should we stunt our ambitions and impoverish our lives in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I see 'Jekyll' as a very scary comedy thriller, partly because Hyde is violent and frightening as a character but at the… — Denis Lawson Copy Share Image
One of the greatest titles we can have is old friend. We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are… — Grant Fairley Copy Share Image
People think [baseball players] make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000. — Pete Incaviglia Copy Share Image
The ones that learn by reading…… The few who learn by observation….. The rest of them have to pee on the electric… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Have you ever or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage, or in terrorist activities, or genocide? I think we can… — Claire North Copy Share Image
“Wow." Josh stopped and ran a hand over his shaved head. "I mean, yeah, there's no beating that. That's the Usain Bolt… — Tom Ellen Copy Share Image
I've always loved The Simpsons, just because it was really, really funny. As a kid, you love the characters. You know that… — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
“You should go.' 'This is my room,' he points out, affronted. 'And that's my wife.' 'So you keep telling everyone,' the Bomb… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Catholic school graduates exhibit a wide variety of qualities that will not only help them in their careers but also in their… — Joe Baca Copy Share Image
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
“You and pretty Tarquin had a moment today. Do you truly think he'll join us?' 'If you mean in bed, definitely not,'… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
'Matilda' is my favorite movie of all time. It's so funny. It's about this girl who's so independent and smart, and she… — Storm Reid Copy Share Image
Meeting people at the bar is like going to the grocery store when your hungry - you bring home sh*t you don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't… — J. J. Watt Copy Share Image