I had this dream and I really wanted to be a star. I was almost a monster in the way that I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God dwells inside of us like people say, I sure hope he's in themodd for Enchiladas, because that's what he's getting — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president. That would be really cool. The first thing I would… — Jennifer Lopez Copy Share Image
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're… — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
DUDE I just poured my friggin heart out to you & you reply ohlol. I hope you get hit by a bus!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I could have played Dot as a very dreary woman with a list of illnesses, but I played her with an edge,… — June Brown Copy Share Image
It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we… — Megan Follows Copy Share Image
I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
“The first time I heard you laugh, I only wanted to say funny things so you would always be laughing. You know… — Kamand Kojouri Copy Share Image
There are artists with palettes and easels selling the kind of modern art that Soviet art critics used to critique with bulldozers.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“I said, I ain't buyin' no chocolate covered cherries." "Oh, come on. You know you want to." D shook his head like… — Jane Seville Copy Share Image
Everybody thinks I'm so serious and the dark side is very accessible to me, so of course it's a challenge to do… — Stellan Skarsgard Copy Share Image
I'm not at all funny. I can do dark comedy pretty well, but straight-up comedy, I don't know. I'm much darker. I've… — Rooney Mara Copy Share Image
1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I believe the term "blog" means more than an online journal. I believe a blog is a conversation. People go to blogs… — Michael Arrington Copy Share Image
I should make my name on Facebook so when I see something stupid somebody posted and like it and when they check… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You’re sure you didn’t leave? Didn’t try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don’t know,… — Kendare Blake Copy Share Image
The history of those who shed those other tears, the history of those anonymous millions, is what Terkel wants readers and listeners… — Studs Terkel Copy Share Image
I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people. — Bobbie Copy Share Image
Did You Know About My relationship with my sibling(s)? We're pretty close. Although, my older sister and I argue a lot:P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to wake up with you in the morning hours. I want to get hot and sweaty together. I want us… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think comedy necessarily comes from a dark place. But I do think what a lot of us have in common… — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I find it quite funny to see players rolling over trying to win free-kicks or get opponents booked. I've never done that,… — Shaun Wright-Phillips Copy Share Image
There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more… — Yuval Noah Harari Copy Share Image
You Could Walk a Mile In My Shoes But You Still Wouldn't GetMe Even If I Can With Instructions, So Tell Me,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“What? What's so funny? Some idiot tried to put a stake through your heart, and he didn't even hit the darn thing!"… — Christine Feehan Copy Share Image
What's funny is that in the '90s, growing up in the black church, everyone around you was older, so your swag became… — Kirk Franklin Copy Share Image
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of… — Patty Duke Copy Share Image
God did not create woman as a s3x object for man. He created woman so that she may become his equal partner… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
My background is all comedy. I've been doing improv since I was 17. It's funny, because when I meet people, I'm known… — Derek Mears Copy Share Image
I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny;… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“We should go swimming," Anna says, out of the blue. (...) Danny looks at her like she just suggested knocking over the… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
I survived 12 years of my life with no internet, but now I can't survive like 12 seconds waiting for a page to load. — Johnneil Bertrand Copy Share Image
Dear spiders, if I see you outside, I will let you live. But if I see you in my house, I will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
