Whether you're old or young or white or black or however, funny is funny, and people want to see those videos. — GloZell Copy Share Image
As for jokes, I don't think it's necessarily that what I write is funny. — Peter David Copy Share Image
“THIS is why I'm single―I'm fat, I'm funny and I won't take it up the bum.” — Rae Earl Copy Share Image
It's been a funny life for me. Sometimes I feel I haven't done a lot of living. — Joanna Cassidy Copy Share Image
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Go to a park with shades on and a hoodie, wait until someone asks you which kid is yours and say I… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are things done under the name of science which are ridiculous. But there is also stuff done which sounds funny but… — Margaret Geller Copy Share Image
What is the best safeguard against false doctrine? The Bible regularly read, regularly prayed over, regularly studied. — J. C. Ryle Copy Share Image
There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I cannot create authentic power in you. I can only create authentic power in myself. But, I cannot create it in myself… — Gary Zukav Copy Share Image
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the Like button. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's too many of them, especially my age… — Leonardo DiCaprio Copy Share Image
My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
I’m not saying she was very silly, but one of us was very silly and it wasn’t me. — Elizabeth Gaskell Copy Share Image
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
When I say I love schools I mean I love meeting my friends and playing with them :) — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Never let the things money can buy, rob you of the things money can't buy. — Adrian Rogers Copy Share Image
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.' — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Come like a Horse, Sit like a Thief, And Go like a King… This Slogan was written on a.. Public Toilet Door. — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
Lets play post office¦ Lick You, stick you, and send you on your way... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dad, Im hungry..Hi hungry, Im dad..Dad ! Im serious.. No, you're hungry.. You're joking.. No, I'm dad — Carissa Aydaa Copy Share Image
Forgetting the extermination is part of the extermination itself. — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
It was really difficult for guys like me who were just young punks to come in and sell a funny idea. — Butch Hartman Copy Share Image
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
It's funny how many people that I've come across in my time that have gone on to achieve great success. — Samoa Joe Copy Share Image
Twitter should have RETWEET, & then RE-MOTHERFUCKING-TWEET for that real shit. — Christian Heggs Copy Share Image
“Not everyone who stares likes us; we may look weird enough to get everyone’s attention.” — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying "I don't want to bore you with the details". — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
There's never any reason to trust someone. If there's a reason, then it's not trust. -Terence — Gerald Morris Copy Share Image
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. — Alice Roosevelt Longworth Copy Share Image
