I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is correct. — Dominique Bouhours Copy Share Image
“I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman.” — Alex Potvin Copy Share Image
You are the definition of a squirrel... your only happy when you have nuts in your mouth — Dominique Young Unique Copy Share Image
When life hands you lemons squeeze them in someone's eyes then run like hell!! :) — Samira Ferreira Copy Share Image
It takes about 35 years for a woman to reach their sexual peak. For a man it takes about 5 to 10 mins — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's so funny how it's impossible for an American actor to play an English part or an Australian part. But by all… — Boyd Holbrook Copy Share Image
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There is no either / or between being competitive and collaborative. You have to be both and decide which in each situation. — Cathie Black Copy Share Image
I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game,… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
To a child, 'The Little Prince' is the story of a boy who falls from the sky, meets lots of funny people… — Maria Konnikova Copy Share Image
My dad was a very funny man - he's the one who taught me life would be awfully hard without humor! I'm… — Joan Cusack Copy Share Image
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all the evil that was going on, he decided to send an… — Ana Copy Share Image
I got pregnant at 40 by surprise. It's funny, because when we found out we were pregnant, I said, 'Okay, let's experience… — Julianna Margulies Copy Share Image
One question you never want to ask God is, ‘What’s wrong with me– because He’ll tell you.. — John Wimber Copy Share Image
The best thing to do after a bad breakup is eat alot of ice cream, not get back toghether. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
To think of Tolstoy eating a sandwich is intrinsically kind of funny. — Elif Batuman Copy Share Image
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away. — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
We are doing earlier and earlier to children what we shouldn't do later. — Lilian Katz Copy Share Image
Dear Teachers, When 90% of us failed, it isnt that we didnt try, its just you are a terrible teacher. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't know what is truth,but I can tell you how to find it! — Jean-Jacques Rousseau Copy Share Image
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I appreciate you acting like you are upset that I was the one who got laid off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We must develop a better sense of responsibilty towards our total environment — Jon Wynne-Tyson Copy Share Image
I'm in a relationship with sleep and I get some every night... and if I'm lucky, I get some during the day — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Also, at a certain point relentlessness itself can become comedic. — Allan Weisbecker Copy Share Image
I carry a Knife everywhere I go. You never know when you might want to cut a cake. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We dont invent our natures. Theyre issued to us along with our lungs, our pancreas and everything else. — Michael E. Mann Copy Share Image
Does anyone have page that they DONT WANT anymore? comment the link if u do and i'llmake u a fake sign — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
When you REACT you are giving away your power. When you RESPOND you are staying in control of yourself. — Bob Proctor Copy Share Image
I look for the meaning in what's funny, and I look for what's funny about things that are meaningful to me. — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
“I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral.” — John Green Copy Share Image
