Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that is where I hang them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. — Dr. Seuss Copy Share Image
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you don't know how to say farewell, put on a Kermit and let him say it — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. — Cary Elwes Copy Share Image
The w0rst mistake 0f a w0man is, t0 g0 t0 the kitchen, bc0z then she never gets 0ut 0f there. — Shakira Copy Share Image
How precious is the family as the privileged place for transmitting the faith, — Pope Francis Copy Share Image
Of course I look both ways when crossing a one way street. You never know what kind of idiot is behind the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this… — Sydney J. Harris Copy Share Image
You know what's funny? There's times when you catch a ball and really didn't even see that ball. You're like, 'That couldn't… — Calvin Johnson Copy Share Image
I wanted to do a show about a character that was an innocent, and so I focused on a sea sponge because… — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
I know quickly whether a guy is boyfriend material. If I can have a good time doing absolutely nothing with him, then… — Alyson Hannigan Copy Share Image
Ghetto word of the Day - Disappointment. My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gone send me back to Jail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the end of the day I'm writing comedy. If you get too realistic as a comedy writer with your disasters, it… — Simon Rich Copy Share Image
Poetry Competition asked For A 2-Line Rhyme With d Most Romantic 1st Line & the Least Romantic 2nd Line There's d Winning… — Sadie Copy Share Image
You don't need you to remind me of my age,I have my bladderto do that for me! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For the girls that tell you all guys are the same, nobody told you to try them all out... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a parent bursts into the room and you switch tabs faster than lightning. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I thought 'RV' stood for 'Recreational Vehicle.' No! It stands for 'Ruins Vacations.' — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Kid: Mom stop you are not funny. You never makes jokes. Mom: I made you. 24 April 2012÷ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Regular naps prevent old age,especially when you take them while driving. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I start remembering all the times you told me you loved me and all the moments you took my breath away. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
You have to expect that if you cuss out the world, The world is going to cuss back. — Andrew Young Copy Share Image
When I became 21, I decided that nobody learned anything about politics after the age of 21. — Grover Norquist Copy Share Image
The blues will always be because the blues are the roots of all American music. — Willie Dixon Copy Share Image
People started shaking hands with strangers to show that neither was holding a gun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
They say that good boys are found in the corners of the earth. UNFORTUNATELY, the earth is round. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I take acting very seriously. I put everything I have and know into it. — Colin Farrell Copy Share Image
