When we go in this Store, Don't ask for SHIT, don't look at SHIT & don't touch SHIT! — Deon Crockett Copy Share Image
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
God could not be with us every time we need support in our worst times of life, and therefore he made fathers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's not the truth that you know, but the truth that you obey that matters. — Johnny Hunt Copy Share Image
I'm JaVale McGee, the basketball player, funny guy, whatever, whatever. But I'm just really passionate about music and I don't want people… — JaVale McGee Copy Share Image
They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is… — David Cross Copy Share Image
Working with Dav Pilkey was a dream come true. Dav is incredibly funny, and he's been a hero of mine for a… — Jeff Kinney Copy Share Image
I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad,… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place. — Jeff Kinney Copy Share Image
Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get… — Bill Gates Copy Share Image
In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
If you're wrong in the way you're right, you're wrong even if you're right. — James MacDonald Copy Share Image
We can have faith in the future only if we have faith in ourselves. — John F. Kennedy Copy Share Image
Poetry holds the knowledge that we are alive and that we know we're going to die, — Marie Howe Copy Share Image
I think I'm the most underrated superstar that's out there, but that doesn't matter to me. — Carmelo Anthony Copy Share Image
Jack. I'm only an elected offical, here. I can't make decisions by myself. — The Mayor Nightmare Before Christmas Copy Share Image
What is the freedom of the most free? To do what is right! — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
We'll never know our full potential unless we push ourselves to find it. — Travis Rice Copy Share Image
The only peace that can endure is a peace that can be defended, — Benjamin Netanyahu Copy Share Image
One must practice slowly, then more slowly, and finally slowly. — Camille Saint-Saens Copy Share Image
If your faith is in experiences, anything that happens is likely to upset that faith. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
They Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine, But If You're Laughing For No Particular Reason, You Need Medicine... — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime. — Shannon Fife Copy Share Image
Shut the fuck up ur so annoying and you think your the shit lmao sit the fuck down — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
The ability to be funny in real life and be funny onstage or onscreen are two different things. — Janelle James Copy Share Image
When you truly have fun on the set it translates into a funny show on tv. — Olivia Stuck Copy Share Image
I throw myself down in my chamber, and I call and invite God and his angels thither... — John Donne Copy Share Image
