I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is important to me is not the truth outside myself, but the truth within myself. — Constantin Stanislavski Copy Share Image
Rock Hudson. He was an absolute human being. Charming, funny, real. — Glenda Jackson Copy Share Image
“Lord Carradice managed to look wicked, smug, and saintly, all at the same time.” — Anne Gracie Copy Share Image
The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking… — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous' I stare, I smile and when I get tired I put the… — Akshay Shome Copy Share Image
When I had my daughter, Louisanna, two and a half years ago, I started recording every funny or sweet thing she said… — Leelee Sobieski Copy Share Image
“He looked at her defiantly, and she thought: and so one at a time we all become human—human werewolves, human dwarfs, human… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Ya know it's funny, what's happening to us. Our lives have become digital. Our friends, now virtual. And, anything you could ever… — Travis Rice Copy Share Image
Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
MODERN PHILOSOPHIES: 1. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught. 2. The wise never marry. When they do, they become otherwise. 3.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The face of "evil" is always the face of total need. A dope fiend is a man in total need of dope.… — William S. Burroughs Copy Share Image
A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic! — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
Someone once told me that movies are a universal passport. And its true, wherever you go. — Benh Zeitlin Copy Share Image
“Graves leaned forward, eyeing me. “Hey, Dru. You were French-kissing a winged snake. Creeptastic.” — Lili St. Crow Copy Share Image
Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
When I'm on my deathbed, the nicest thing anyone can say to me is, You were right about everything. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Anybody can do anything, it's up to themselves. All it takes is the right intentions. — Jimi Hendrix Copy Share Image
I actually don't mind viral trends. I think most of them are inexplicably really funny. — Logan Paul Copy Share Image
My grandpa used to take me to the Columbus Funny Bone in Ohio every Wednesday. — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
My Hanukkah wish is to be in a relationship that lasts longer than eight days. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We think the juxtaposition between banjo solos and songs about the future are really funny. — Kemp Muhl Copy Share Image
Making someone happy is perhaps the humblest way of approaching happiness. — Antonio Gala Copy Share Image
The more good ideas you collect, the more you can choose from to be influenced by. — Austin Kleon Copy Share Image
The only truths we can point to are the ever-changing truths of our own experience. — Peter Weiss Copy Share Image
True gastronomy is making the most of what is available, however modest. — Claudia Roden Copy Share Image
The mightier any is in the word, the more mighty he will be in prayer. — William Gurnall Copy Share Image
“If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp That's why you're not me! : Yatharth.” — Shubham Choudhary Copy Share Image
