I wonder if Captain Morgan and Cap'n Crunch awkwardly chat at their naval college class reunion. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The permissiveness of society must be balanced with authoritativene ss. — Ferdinand Marcos Copy Share Image
When my teacher gets pregnant? Normal people: 'Oh my God! Congratulations!' Me: 'My teacher had sex?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished! — Pope Francis Copy Share Image
God has a funny way of giving you the answer when you get your mind away from goofy things. — Rudy Ruettiger Copy Share Image
Kicking a guy in the balls, is basically kick his future childrens in the face. — Jay Copy Share Image
Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney, Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney, Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In my experience, if you go to a hospital for any reason whatsoever, including to read the gas meter, they give you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you love it when people in school are like, “I'm a bad test taker”? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her,… — Cassandra Rose Clarke Copy Share Image
“Cole steps forward, his fingers reaching around my shoulders, and kisses me. It is sudden and smooth and soft as air against… — Victoria Schwab Copy Share Image
I'm here to be a martial artist and show people that I think there's a better way of life and a happier… — Jon Fitch Copy Share Image
Because I know that time is always time and place is always place and only place. And what is actual is actual… — T. S. Eliot Copy Share Image
Success is feminine and like a woman, if you cringe before her, she will override you — William Faulkner Copy Share Image
Your vacation depends upon the book that tells you where to go, and it is called your cheque book. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
How will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you? — Rebecca Solnit Copy Share Image
I can't do anything without the ball so when I don't have it I have to go get it! — Daryl Morey Copy Share Image
Tell her she's 'beautiful' instead of 'hot.' She's a person, not a temperature — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
When we think of our work as a gift, it radically changes what we create. — James Victore Copy Share Image
Your habit of drinking hot coffee during the heat wave has us worried you're trying to kill yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip. — Arnold H Glasgow Copy Share Image
I completely lost everything, but I gained everything because I lost the fear. — Kanye West Copy Share Image
Success is how well you do what you do when nobody else is looking. — John Paul DeJoria Copy Share Image
Your reputation is harmed the most by what you say to defend it. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Girl: I have the pussy so I make the rules. Boy: I have the dick so I fuck the rules — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Woman was created last so she wouldnt have to wait for someone to talk to. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing without any reason, you need medicine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
