“He really did posses the ability to be extremely annoying when he set his mind to it.” — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
LMS If your mom says this when she get mad at you...I brought you in this world and I can take you… — Dionta Long Copy Share Image
Because there are those who trust and encourage. I became a roly-poly Hyoyeon!! ^^ — Kim Hyo-yeon Copy Share Image
I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter. — Jim Carrey Copy Share Image
WIFE, A person who only lasts as long as a marriage -- an ex-wife is forever — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I would like to be constantly thinking about life, trying to make it funny. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
“There were dumplings on the train, sold by grim men and women with deep lines cut into their faces by years and… — Cory Doctorow Copy Share Image
I'm sorry that I'm an intellectual. I'm not a skeptic, it doesn't take me twenty minutes to philosophically argue what colour the… — Jeremy Limn Copy Share Image
If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
With the Internet being such an easy way to find comedians you think are funny, I think you're probably seeing so many… — Megan Stalter Copy Share Image
Twitter is the place where I try to be more funny. And then I use Instagram just as my diary. I pull… — Gigi Hadid Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you are talking in the class with your friend and everybody shuts up and you end up shouting… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all… — Daniel Dennett Copy Share Image
I admire the commitment of girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?… — Valdovinoz1015 Copy Share Image
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's very shocking for me to see pictures from my win here in 2008. I aged. — Sebastian Vettel Copy Share Image
I just saw a fat guy with a shirt that said: I beat anorexia. Defiantly made my day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton. — Dan Duva Copy Share Image
“Those who pretend as if they don't love you, are the ones who would hate to see you love another person.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Flies only live for 24 hours,except for the ones that get into your room.Those ones magically live forever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The more data we have, the more likely we are to drown in it. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
What is a butterfly? At best He's but a caterpiller drest. The gaudy Fop's his picture just. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, I'm just saying she should sleep in her own bed often — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We live only to dance. If living were not an essential prerequisite, we would abstain. — Toni Bentley Copy Share Image
AT&T to wed T-Mobile. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. — Richard Lerner Copy Share Image
