Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny. — Donny Norris Copy Share Image
One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn't it? — Tom Baker Copy Share Image
Everything that's happening to you, is what's suppose to be happening to you. So just relax. — Chris Martin Copy Share Image
It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. — Carl Rogers Copy Share Image
It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words. — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
The Gospel is not about going from bad to good, it's about going from dead to alive! — Louie Giglio Copy Share Image
I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny. — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
“Sei: The Kudzu snacks were so good I had two and a half bowls but seeing you eat 16 and a half… — Taeko Watanabe Copy Share Image
Sometimes I am lucky enough to hang out with Tim Key and he is constantly funny. Every moment. When I haven't seen… — Sara Pascoe Copy Share Image
Today I went on Google.com & searched ninjas. The computer told me Ninjas cannot be found. Well played, ninjas, well played — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I'm afraid that this is me getting on my high horse now but we have yob television, yob newspapers, and funny enough… — Gordon Strachan Copy Share Image
Stop, look, listen Great advice not only for crossing the road, but also when you're mid-wink and suspect your wife is home. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Hey,' he said, touching my waist. 'Hey. It's okay.' I nodded and wiped my face with the back of my hand. 'He… — John Green Copy Share Image
I've been invited to appear on Letterman, but they wanted me to talk about a funny videotape of Congress. 'Bring us your… — Brian Lamb Copy Share Image
She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
Question- how can you make god laugh??? Answer- tell him about your future plans. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Learning is but an adjunct to ourself, And where we are our learning likewise is. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
You shall abstain, shall abstain. That is the eternal song. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're all excited about openinga present, and when you open it,it sucks — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need a girlfriend my studies irritates me everyday, that's enough. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people. — Pamela Anderson Copy Share Image
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. — Ann Landers Copy Share Image
3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some — Zach Manal Copy Share Image
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Old people have fewer diseases than the young, but their diseases never leave them. — Hippocrates Copy Share Image
If the Plan A did not work,,, Dont worry; there are 25 more letters left to use. — Unkown Copy Share Image
I can't believe you haven't finished the thing I forgot to tell you to start. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching. — Myself Copy Share Image
Be thankful you're alive, have as much sex as possible. Because you will be a full on boner soon. — Jeremy Limn Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you have to fart. butt ur afraid of how it's going to sound — Blah Copy Share Image
Tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterdays omissions and regrets. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always had a group of friends who were funny, and we'd do sketches for the talent show. — Heidi Gardner Copy Share Image
You know it's going to be a long day when you yell 'Seriously?!?' at your alarm clock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
