By the time an actor knows how to act any sort of part he is often too old to act any but… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
We do not discard something we know to be true because of something we do not yet understand. — Neil L. Andersen Copy Share Image
“Step one, accept she was a damn boss. Step two, hide all the knives, guns, and maybe the pillows, too.” — J.J. McAvoy Copy Share Image
We are reluctant to live outside tribal rules because we are afraid of getting kicked out of the tribe. — Caroline Myss Copy Share Image
I did it because I can,I can because I want to and I want to because you said that I couldn't — Innah Delos Angeles Copy Share Image
The whole opportunity of being on 'Last Comic' gave me the chance to display me being funny on and off stage. — Josh Blue Copy Share Image
ME: OMG I have to tell you thisstory about- *starts laughing**deep breath* Ok there was this- *starts laughing* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Yes you are right," said Pavel. "We will succeed simply because we are the best in all of world. We will get… — Cuthbert Soup Copy Share Image
Our mums came on tour and mine was baffled by it all. She kept saying in the car: 'You just do this… — Leigh-Anne Pinnock Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the SHARE BROKER says, It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
After spending 16 years in studies I really appreciate my BRAIN which is divided into two parts Right And Left, In right… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Baby I wake up every mornin for you and I want you to feel special... Nigga I'm just kidding, I got school… — J-Young Copy Share Image
Dear Gay Men, please stop being so much kinder, funnier and more attractive than straight men. It's depressing. Sincerely, All Single Women. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
I like the end of the year to be about something. Especially with younger shows, the network pushes you to make self-contained… — Bill Lawrence Copy Share Image
I Only Say The Truth! When I know it can't take me to jail or take ma life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
“That’s my son you’re torturing, miss,’ said Xena. ‘And that’s my employee you’ve got there,’ said Kenneby.” — Surabhi Singh Copy Share Image
“In the field, one quickly learns that everything that was funny at age ten is funny all over again.” — Neil Strauss Copy Share Image
My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say 'My Bad!' — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Though I can make my extravaganzas appear credible, I cannot make the truth appear so. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Sisterhood is a funny thing. It's easy to recognize, but hard to define. — Pearl Cleage Copy Share Image
Every time you reach for food, ask yourself, 'Will this cleanse or clog me?' — Tony Robbins Copy Share Image
It's a one-to-one dialogue. You open your mouth and you're talking to 6 million people. — Derek Jameson Copy Share Image
