If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!" — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
It is not difficult to climb the ladder of success if your father made it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
We cannot enter into the presence of God while we are rebelling against God. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
The Americans sowed the seed, and now they have reaped the whirlwind — Sebastian Coe Copy Share Image
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Alice opened the door when I rang. She had on green pyjamas and held a hairbrush in one hand. She looked wearily… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
The good news is that even if your early crepes have funny lumps and bulges or aren't paper-thin, they're still gonna be… — J. Kenji Lopez-Alt Copy Share Image
A good neighbor sometimes cuts your morning up to mince-meat of the very smallest talk, then helps to sugar her bohea at… — Elizabeth Barrett Browning Copy Share Image
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at… — Marcel Achard Copy Share Image
“You have better luck than you think you do,” Cian said firmly. Turning back toward him, she said, “Yeah? Prove it?” You… — Rhiannon Frater Copy Share Image
I just developed my act way back in the late '80s. I went to college in Georgia, so I picked up the… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You tell me you love me, but Im not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
You only live once, for a very short time. So make every second devine. — Mitch Lucker Copy Share Image
A bargain is something you have to find a use for once you have bought it. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Dear Girls, If a Boy Answers your Phone call during CHRIS GAYLE's Batting, He truly Loves you, Marry him — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I hope they understand that I really understand That they don't understand — Kid Cudi Copy Share Image
“How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee?” — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Modern houses are so small we've had to train our dog to wag its tail up and down and not sideways. — Tacitus Copy Share Image
When the truth cannot be clearly made out, what is false is increased through fear. — Quintus Curtius Rufus Copy Share Image
My wife and I ran through 'Justified' in, like, a day. And that is such a funny, amazing show. — Adam Pally Copy Share Image
Controls them and subdues, transmutes, bereaves Of their bad influence, and their good receives. — William Wordsworth Copy Share Image
Hansie Cronje. Honestly. I got out to Hansie more than anyone.I never knew what to do with him — Sachin Tendulkar Copy Share Image
There's a funny kind of family thing that happens with every production. — Nicholas Hammond Copy Share Image
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. — Christopher Hampton Copy Share Image
If sharks really can smell blood, then Id imagine theyre all salivating over my erection right now — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore. — Bruce McCulloch Copy Share Image
Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardice. — Bobby Heenan Copy Share Image
You can take the woman outta the trash, but you can't take the trash out a the woman. — Charles de Lint Copy Share Image
“I was surprised he didn't just spit the nails into the wood like Popeye the Sailor Man.” — Josh Lanyon Copy Share Image
