When we lose Fenway, we lose the sense that somebody sat here and watched Ted Williams hit. — Bob Costas Copy Share Image
It is morally as bad not to care whether anything is true or not... — Edwin Way Teale Copy Share Image
The perfect man is like the Lochness Monster... they say he exists but no one's ever seen him! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awesome moment when you are telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you — Cyvin Jay Copy Share Image
Somebody will come backstage and go, 'You saved me.' And I will have to say, 'Stop right there. You saved yourself.' — Tori Amos Copy Share Image
If someone confronts you about draining them it could be a "double reverse." They are draining you and accuse you instead of… — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
I'll do a little round of WTD. butnot with fans, with celebrities. I think playing WTD with fans kind of tells them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Learn to live well, or fairly make your will; you played, and loved, and ate, and drunk your fill: walk sober off;… — Alexander Pop Copy Share Image
In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us,… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
What would you want to do if you know that the day after tomorrow is the last day in your life? Im… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? 'All the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room,… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Before marriage, her parents wonder when he will go home; after marriage, she wonders when he will come home. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
I was attracted to people who were funny because I wanted to be in that world. — Anne Beatts Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night… it was raining and you were fishing for fire to set a sandcastle a… — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you cant decide if you should cross the street before or after the car goes — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny: wrestlers and comics bond over remembering their best shows and their absolute worst shows. — Mick Foley Copy Share Image
Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave. — Percy Bysshe Shelley Copy Share Image
The longer you go by yourself the weirder you get, and the weirder you get the longer you go by yourself. — Jim Shepard Copy Share Image
A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it for himself. — Henry Brougham, 1st Baron Brougham and Vaux Copy Share Image
Don't let a day go by without doing something... no matter how small. — Robert G. Allen Copy Share Image
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
You say I'm dirty minded... but how did you understand what I meant? — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
