One of the things I've realized is how portable God is. No really, He's everywhere! — Tracee Ellis Ross Copy Share Image
We will get them stuck in the mud and we will certainly defeat them. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say "I'm hungry", and so it died. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If you are scared you die every day. If you are not scared, you die only once. — Giovanni Falcone Copy Share Image
FUNNY BUT TRUE: Combine study is meeting friends, where all aspects of world are discussed except studies! — Asli Copy Share Image
Once you get away from wanting to get paid, you can actually say some true things. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. — George Deukmejian Copy Share Image
“Would you like to hold my sword?" He asked the question with a gleam in his eyes. Lucy burst out laughing. At… — Kimberly Kinrade Copy Share Image
It's funny: when the press knows someone's gonna say something stupid, they're quick to pass them a mic and put a camera… — Damon Dash Copy Share Image
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
In this book I do not intend to give a blow-by-blow description of a sex bout: I find them inartistic, clinical and… — Charlie Chaplin Copy Share Image
“I’d like to make it clear from the start that I am gay, gay, gay. Like, when I come out of the… — Gwen Hayes Copy Share Image
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
I asked my friend if he wanted to hear something funny, He said yes, I replied my wife left me. He waited… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
People here are funny. They work so hard at living, they forget how to live. — Robert Riskin Copy Share Image
If one teacher can't teach us all the subjects , how can we learn all the subjects ? — Mohamed Navaal Copy Share Image
If I get 30 days to study I'll spend 29 days to find xerox notes. -Engineer :P — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“I was just wondering, what would you say to a pair of kittens?" ""Hi, snack food?” — Kaje Harper Copy Share Image
Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Plumbers are red, Hedgehogs are blue. Press Start to join And be my player 2 — Myothersweetangel199 Copy Share Image
People say you can't live without love…i think oxygen is more important :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I wouldn't miss this fake-homo show for all the Gucci Shoes on Rodeo Drive.” — River Jaymes Copy Share Image
If I am old-fashioned, it's not a conscious decision. I just do material that I think is funny. — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
A lot of my early pictures are, I think, quite funny. And these days I tend to look for comedy more and… — Helen Levitt Copy Share Image
The great and merciful surprise is that we come to God, not by doing it right, but by doing it wrong. — Richard Rohr Copy Share Image
There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese. — James Comey Copy Share Image
I'm a person that works off of music. I let the music dictate the direction. — Jay-Z Copy Share Image
