Finding someone with the exact same music taste as you is like finding a buried treasure. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The longest-lived and the shortest-lived man, when they come to die, lose one and the same thing. — Marcus Aurelius Copy Share Image
It's time we all accepted the Gay Pride Parade isn't much gayer than any other parade. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am an optimist because I don't see the point in being anything else. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
When there's nothing left, there's always music, that's all I've ever known. — Jake Pitts Copy Share Image
“Come here, cat. You wouldn’t want to destroy the space-time continuum, would you? Meow. Meow.” — Connie Willis Copy Share Image
We are not loved because we are valued; we are valued because we are loved. — William Sloane Coffin Copy Share Image
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“You're a big boy, No. You'll figure something out. Just make sure it includes the groveling." -Abby It come to all of… — Christine Warren Copy Share Image
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
I do see things that are funny on the net. I Googled myself the other day and found out that I was… — David Crosby Copy Share Image
“The choices that women make sometimes seems provoking and at the same time amusing. I once met a lady who said she… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
The cast of 'Arrow' is truly one of the greatest groups of people I've ever met. Every single one of them is… — Juliana Harkavy Copy Share Image
Say, Cuttino. What are those Godawful clothes you're wearing? Man, this ain't Rhode Island anymore. You're in the NBA. The girls have… — Charles Barkley Copy Share Image
What is this mysterious thing, sleep, that you speak of? Please introduce me. — Kaliana Dietrich Copy Share Image
I think having funny characters is just one way of having three-dimensional characters. — Ti West Copy Share Image
For without risk there is no faith, and the greater the risk, the greater the faith. — Soren Kierkegaard Copy Share Image
If she doesn't know when usher was in his drop top cruisin the streets, she's too young for you bro — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I find it more comfortable to say I'm an atheist, and for that I probably have someone like Dawkins to thank. — Jim Al-Khalili Copy Share Image
Success isn't something that occurs. Success is something that you create — Robin Sharma Copy Share Image
When I don’t understand, I have an unbearable itch to know why. — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
Surely there must be a better gift God could have given us than life? — Michael O'Donoghue Copy Share Image
If Lisa From Temecula was more aware of herself, she wouldn't be as funny. — Ego Nwodim Copy Share Image
“Oh, fuck me. And not in the nice way, where I have two orgasms and someone makes me breakfast in the morning.” — Lila Monroe Copy Share Image
“Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off"- Cruz” — Derrolyn Anderson Copy Share Image
I wonder how people describe me when theyre talking about me to someone whos never met me — Sumit Rohilla Copy Share Image
A man wears the pants in a relationship but the woman tells the man which pair to put on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Confession. 3.) My Favorite Band Is One Direction But My Favorite SingerIs Ed Sheeran¥ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You don't know what's on the inside until you put a demand on your potential. — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
I'm the leader, not a follower. Unless it's a dark place then fuck that shit, you're going first. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
