“I will call bullshit on that so many times that the word bullshit will lose all meaning. -Milo” — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
Given that evolution is a fact, this lack of evolution needs to be explained. — J. William Schopf Copy Share Image
If you tell your friends you're pregnant & they say by who. The you're a hoe — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
I just find all that stuff incredibly funny. I love a fart. I'd do anything for a good poo story. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
It's so funny how the people that know the least about you, have the most to say. — Uknown Copy Share Image
On his running for California Governor: It's the most important decision I've had to make since 1978 when I decided to get… — Arnold Schwarzenegger Copy Share Image
It is too much to hope that I shall keep up my success. I don't ask for that. All I shall do… — Audrey Hepburn Copy Share Image
“If she in fact knows magic she needs to do a spell to adjust that shitty attitude she has all of a… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
With comedy, don't try to be funny. That's really helped me. Just say the lines as you would say them, interact with… — Ariel Winter Copy Share Image
“Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.” This Santa’s beard was… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
An enGineering Student went & proposed a girl Girl : What can u do to make me love you ? Boy :… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You're very welcome," she said, giving my hair a hard tug. "You should be used to being gawked at by now." "And… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
Some people treat God like they do a lawyer; they go to Him only when they are in trouble. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Well, social media is a funny thing. It can be absolutely wonderful, and it can absolutely work against you. — Karrion Kross Copy Share Image
That we devote ourselves to God, is seen In living just as though no God there were. — Robert Browning Copy Share Image
Nothing is necessary except God, and nothing is less necessary than pain. — Joseph de Maistre Copy Share Image
I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I watch mostly documentaries and things that aren't remotely funny. — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
Females will argue with you for 30mins , then be like I ain't even gonna argue with you. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
I wish we could ctrl...alt...delete parts of life we don't particularly like. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Of all knowledge the wise and good seek most to know themselves. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
In general those who nothing have to say Contrive to spend the longest time in doing it. — James Russell Lowell Copy Share Image
I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm going to open up a store next to forever 21 and call it finally 22 — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Dear and dearest Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food. — Babloo Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for Everyone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
