Funny Quotes · Page 66

Without inspiration, we would perish.

— Walt Disney

Sorry my parrot learned your sex noises.

— Anonymous

Be excellent and party on dudes.

— Abraham Lincoln

I don't think anything lives up to what you envisioned.

— Amber Benson

The smile of God is the goal of your life.

— Rick Warren

I'm not a top-five player yet,

— Eden Hazard

We can look, but we'd better not touch.

— Steven Tyler

Greatness is never free; it must be earned.

— Barack Obama

We must develop a better sense of responsibilty towards our total environment

— Jon Wynne-Tyson

I'm in a relationship with sleep and I get some every night... and if I'm lucky, I get some during the day

— Ritu Ghatourey

Also, at a certain point relentlessness itself can become comedic.

— Allan Weisbecker

I carry a Knife everywhere I go. You never know when you might want to cut a cake.

— Green Monk

We dont invent our natures. Theyre issued to us along with our lungs, our pancreas and everything else.

— Michael E. Mann

Does anyone have page that they DONT WANT anymore? comment the link if u do and i'llmake u a fake sign

— Anonymous

I don't know what is truth,but I can tell you how to find it!

— Jean-Jacques Rousseau

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

— Frank Carson

I love Deadmau5 as a producer, as a person. He's super interesting. He's very funny to follow on social media. But as…

— Martin Garrix

When you get the result of your exam and find out you failed your so Upset…But when you find out that your…

— Anonymous

Communication, trust, and affection, is the true foundation of every good relationship¦.. If one is missing¦.. LOVE cannot survive¦

— Green Monk

I think a lot of comedic actors, on their close-up they can deliver. But when it comes to reacting to other people…

— Ken Jeong

It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, "I like your dress," and they'll…

— Sarah Silverman

“Lilli . . . Lilli . . . Lilli.” Sweet Jesus, she was going to kill him. She’d just gotten to sleep.…

— Susan Fanetti

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people.…

— Louis C. K

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved…

— Psyche_Zeroh

Tim Vine's off the scale. Exhaustingly funny.

— Tim Key

I'd love to do sitcoms. I think I'm pretty darn funny.

— Yasmine Bleeth

I already kept my next Ex on my Hit list .

— Nikhil Saluja

You can either buy clothes or buy pictures,

— Gertrude Stein

Pure unadulterated success is not as funny as failure.

— Will Arnett

Get back to where you once belonged,

— John Lennon

Things may never be the same again...

— Peter Paphides

You don't know everything, but you know enough!

— Neil L. Andersen

If you # love love, look for yourself.

— Rumi

“I've got a Siamese cat. It has 2 heads and 18 lives.”

— M.J. McGuire

Yeah he's gorgeous I know! Just look don't touch;)

— Rachel

Not everyone is as nice as us.

— Louis Sachar

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.

— Victoria Wood

Will I allow my fear to bind me to mediocrity?

— Andy Stanley

Oh the super bowl, is that a Pho restaurant?

— Kevin

She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.

— Rodney Dangerfield