It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Add me on kik? I'm also getting a text free so you guys can text me without knowing my real number — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don't realize there are none from me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We were doing a gig in Spain and yet again had four hotel rooms that never get used. We always share a… — Leigh-Anne Pinnock Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said she liked to be teased in the bedroom so, last night in bed I told her, Your new glasses… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories. — John Wilmot Copy Share Image
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, Hello? As if the bad guy is gonna be like, Yeah, I'm… — Ryah Copy Share Image
It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me… — Lindsay Lohan Copy Share Image
I think it's funny. There was a time when men were afraid that somebody would reveal some secret of theirs that was… — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
Climbers seem to forget that we said in our introduction that there were simply '50 classic routes', not 'the 50 classics'. We… — Steve Roper Copy Share Image
It is funny, I have the ability to win a stage in the Tour de France and I do win races that… — Sam Bennett Copy Share Image
Friends are not perfect, sometimes they have funny ways, always laugh with them and not at them. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
“Thought for the day: Twitter...140 character limit...must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers...” — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
He's a boy, and he's my friend...so techniqually he's my boyfriend..right?:) — Rachel Copy Share Image
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. — David Cross Copy Share Image
PARTNERSHIP, A legal fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Where there is Peace, there is Culture; Where there is Culture, there is Peace. — Nicholas Roerich Copy Share Image
You can't have filenames longer than 14 chars. You can't even think about them! — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
I look forward to the day when I can be Republican again. I'm an Alan Simpson Republican. — Alan K. Simpson Copy Share Image
Change is not a four letter word...but often your reaction to it is! — Jeffrey Gitomer Copy Share Image
“What happened to your face?" she asked. "It fell on a fist." He shrugged. "That happens a lot?" "Enough.” — Melissa de la Cruz Copy Share Image
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Things will go as they will, and there is no need to hurry to meet them. — J. R. R. Tolkien Copy Share Image
If you're not doing some things that are crazy, then you're doing the wrong things. — Larry Page Copy Share Image
You said you wont leave me alone but where are you now? I'm alone again and I haven't forgotten about you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I drop my phone I act like I've let a newborn baby slip through my hands. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. then walk into a pole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Books are slow. They require time; they are written slowly, published slowly, and read slowly. — Lewis Buzbee Copy Share Image
