“I did not ask for your help.' 'But you have it nonetheless.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
Learn everything you possibly can, and you will discover later that none of it was superfluous. — Hugh of Saint Victor Copy Share Image
When I want to have this teenage but funny way to be, I think about Ariana Grande. — Anitta Copy Share Image
People say that beauty is on the inside, but I would prefer a pretty face over a pretty kidney. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“Ma didn't think puns were funny but couldn't help laughing at the naughty look Pa gave her when he made one.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder Copy Share Image
Being truly aimless is like being dead. It may even be the same thing, or worse. It is the aimless who find… — Michael Marshall Smith Copy Share Image
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
“I only snatched him to get your attention,” I said. “Now that I’ve got it, this is what I want.” “Damn my… — Kim Harrison Copy Share Image
The past can haunt you, but so can ghosts. The future can be unpredictable, but so can the stock market. So the… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Me: why am I so fat? Me: *eats a snack* *eats dinner* *eats everything in fridge* *eats car* *eats family* *eats the… — Jugi Steady Copy Share Image
“I went through and underlined all the funny lines in his book, and by the time I was done, I had underlined… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Me and this chicka are tight like glue! love her so much! she makes me laugh like ive only got a few… — Vanity_LEO Copy Share Image
Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed & dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren't coming back for them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It upsets me where you do a take and people go 'that's so funny,' and you think 'I was being serious.' — Tom Bateman Copy Share Image
Thumbs up you say EA Sports, its in the game along with the guy who says it — Ronde Dawson Copy Share Image
“Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is not that we don't know the right answers, it is just that we don't ask the right questions. — Tony Robbins Copy Share Image
When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
Hello Darling!This might be the Last message I am sending you……………. 'Coz I got no balance in my mobile. — VinayKumar Copy Share Image
Me: Haha I'm older! Friend:Haha you'll die first! Me: Not if I get my license first and run you over bitch! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know it was a really crazy night if you wake up in your own bed, but end up in a strangers… — Amanda Roberts Copy Share Image
“disclosure: (n.) when they finally tell us everything and nothing changes.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
By going back to your own center you can always find the pure idea of right for every relationship. — Wallace D. Wattles Copy Share Image
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No matter how old I get, I'm still going to mentally sing ABC's to see which letter comes next..!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Microsoft Word, I'm pretty sure I spelled my name right. Sincerely, EVERYBODY WITH AN UN-COMMON NAME — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can do not just twice as much but 200 times as much when you have a good partner. — Arianna Huffington Copy Share Image
It's funny, as most players get worse on the greens as they get older, but I feel it's the other way with… — Justin Rose Copy Share Image
