It's not that it's so good with money, but that it's so bad without it. — George Sanders Copy Share Image
It (the Bible) has never bowed its head before the discoveries of science. — Billy Graham Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'. — Francois Morency Copy Share Image
“For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient.” — Elizabeth Inchbald Copy Share Image
Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
From the moment of birth, when the stone-age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby is subjected to these forces of violence,… — R D Laing Copy Share Image
Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.' — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She is really really so beautiful there,' said Assad. Carl glanced at him. Apparently a woman's appearance was a particularly valuable factor… — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
You don’t need to be a completely complete human right now … That’s what makes you human. — Tavi Gevinson Copy Share Image
A man who is an enemy of the bride doesn't speak well of the wedding. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Follow your dreams ...except that one where you're naked in Neighbor's room! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We must alter theory to adapt it to nature, but not nature to adapt it to theory. — Claude Bernard Copy Share Image
Get on in life because life will get on without you if you don't keep up. — Zayn Malik Copy Share Image
I think I have a good sense of humor, but I don't consider myself funny. — Da'Vine Joy Randolph Copy Share Image
A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Anything you don't understand is dangerous until you do understand it. — Larry Niven Copy Share Image
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're better off being The Beatles than The Monkees, as a startup... — Ben Horowitz Copy Share Image
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Don't depend on something that comes from outside. Outside things are never going to make you happy. — Swami Satchidananda Copy Share Image
I went to work and did a lot of homework about what was wrong with me — Margot Kidder Copy Share Image
Steve Buscemi, in between takes, becomes like a clam. It's hard to get a word out of him. It's very funny. — Peter Stormare Copy Share Image
The question is not "To be or not to be," it is what we should be until we are not. — Soren Kierkegaard Copy Share Image
I don't need to be NUMBER 1 in something. As long as I am not as TRYING HARD as YOU ARE. shame… — ALYSSA Copy Share Image
When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure. — Alex Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think the reason Jesus is so popular, just on a celebrity level, is that he died at the peak of his… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
I'm always in situations where you can't be funny, and yet I want to do it anyway. — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
