You know nothing for sure...except the fact that you know nothing for sure. — John F. Kennedy Copy Share Image
Remember kids, if someone gives you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive. — Risa Schizophrenia Copy Share Image
I used to go in for Disney auditions, and they'd tell me, 'You're cute and nice but just not funny.' — Gattlin Griffith Copy Share Image
Those memories that you randomly remember and suddenly can't stop smiling. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Jim Apple finds introducing himself very problematic when holidaying in France. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The material used to make MONEY should be changed from paper to RUBBER. So people can STRETCH it to make both ends… — Nelson M. Lubao Copy Share Image
“Ah bet she’s a dirty wee minx in the scratcher. Y’see that "butter wouldnae melt" expression she’s goat goin on? That’s jist… — Jamie Holoran Copy Share Image
“K, boys, it’s shirts against skins. Lose ‘em,” Lucy said, pointing to the guys and ignoring Thad. “I beg your pardon?” Thad… — Christine James Copy Share Image
I loved you once, and I Didn't want to give up on us, but you're a liar and a cheater, There was… — Marly Copy Share Image
A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
When I'm at our house in France I totally cut myself off from the rest of the world. I never have to… — Johnny Depp Copy Share Image
When I Die, bury me deep ten feet down fast asleep Place my chemistry book on my head, Tell my teacher that… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
We cannot control what others do to us, but through God we can control the way we respond to them. — Joyce Meyer Copy Share Image
“I bought a zoo, which is funny, because I own the very place that should own me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I intended to give you some advice but now I remember how much is left over from last year unused. — George Harris Copy Share Image
A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Chodan chodan sab kare chod sake na koijab kabeera chodan lage lund khare na hoye — Baba Burchodan Das Copy Share Image
I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small! — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island? — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Thus I got into my bones the essential structure of the ordinary British sentence, which is a noble thing. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
Read the Word. Consume the Word until it consumes you. Believe the Word. Act on the Word. — Smith Wigglesworth Copy Share Image
There can be no doubt that all our knowledge begins with experience. — Immanuel Kant Copy Share Image
How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken. — Norman Douglas Copy Share Image
A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is possible to have good manners and be funny at the same time. Ronnie Barker and I proved that. — Ronnie Corbett Copy Share Image
