Friends are not perfect, sometimes they have funny ways, always laugh with them and not at them. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Add me on kik? I'm also getting a text free so you guys can text me without knowing my real number — Anonymous Copy Share Image
During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
I think the thing that really started setting my career on the course that it's on is when I did '1000 Cats'… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
“What the hell is that?" I laughed. "It's my fox hat." "Your fox hat?" "Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat." "Why are you… — John Green Copy Share Image
Country people do not behave as if they think life is short; they live on the principle that it is long, and… — Edward Hoagland Copy Share Image
“Can you just kill me? Carry me out in a box?” I looked up at her. “Do you even have a gun?”“What… — Nichole Chase Copy Share Image
I am naturally prone to fun or to be funny, but when I talk about myself in interviews, then it's an intellectual… — Morten Harket Copy Share Image
You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't. — Jack Whitehall Copy Share Image
Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. — Seth Meyers Copy Share Image
It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Those who will not govern themselves are condemned to find masters to govern over them. — Steven Pressfield Copy Share Image
You know, it's funny how songs continue to grow and evolve and become a new and deeper reflection of your life. — Gloria Estefan Copy Share Image
The funny response to 'One Mississippi' continues to be that people don't know what is true and what's fiction. — Tig Notaro Copy Share Image
If I ever mary, it will be on a suddn impulse - as aman shoots himself — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
It cannot be when the root is neglected that what springs from it will be well ordered. — Confucius Copy Share Image
I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads. — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
Never buy a stock immediately after a substantial rise or sell one immediately after a substantial drop. — Benjamin Graham Copy Share Image
Girls work on their looks but not their minds bcoz they know boys are stupid, not blind — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Do not be afraid of mistakes, provided you do not make the same one twice. — Eleanor Roosevelt Copy Share Image
Girls work on their looks but not on their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're one of the few people I don't mind very briefly communicating with on a Monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny. — Katey Sagal Copy Share Image
