I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
History is something that never happened told by someone who wasn't there. — Ramon Gomez de la Serna Copy Share Image
The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
We were very aggressive, and when we're aggressive, it's hard to stop us. — Kerri Walsh Copy Share Image
He who reads much and understands much, receives his fill. He who is full, refreshes others. — Ambrose Copy Share Image
If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast. — Amber Valletta Copy Share Image
“It is best if the guard is in love with America and wants to overawe the American by being a premium guard.… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
There have been funny sequels, but I don't know if there have been that many that feel like they're - you know… — Phil Lord Copy Share Image
I've been very lucky to work in a newsroom where there are lots of strong, funny, clever women in senior positions. — Kate Garraway Copy Share Image
There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an… — Margot Robbie Copy Share Image
Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you'll be a mile… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is a cliche that probably has some anecdotal evidence on the side that comedians are very depressed people, but that's because… — Robert Klein Copy Share Image
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“The funny thing about the heart is a soft heart is a strong heart, and a hard heart is a weak heart.” — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
That heart attack moment when your phone is in a different pocket than normal so you start to panic.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine. — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
It's funny how a few words from you could make me feel a million times better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know whats better than watching a beautiful woman get dressed...laughing at what she is wearing — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Just because you can't do everything, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you can. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
Dance as if no one's watching, love as if it's never going to hurt. — Stuart Appleby Copy Share Image
Getting back with an ex is pretty much like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The biggest misconception is probably that I don't have my head in the right place. — Lindsay Lohan Copy Share Image
“Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.” — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
Increased knowledge clearly implies increased responsibility. — Nicolaas Bloembergen Copy Share Image
As funny as some photos can be, think twice about allowing yourself to be tagged in questionable photos. — Lewis Howes Copy Share Image
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, What are you doing this weekend? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WORST MOMENT EVER: Watching a good show and then BAM. A sad, abusive animal commercial comes on. :c — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When asked what would he do if he found $1 million, Yogi responded, If the guy was poor, I'd give it back. — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Every one knows that insufficient rest and gorging are not good for anyone, either physically or mentally. — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
