I say funny stuff in my songs sometimes, but it's still all in the seriousness of the music and the craft. — Rich Brian Copy Share Image
The less it is possible that something can be, the more it must be. — Robert M. Sapolsky Copy Share Image
An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order. — Mike Barfield Copy Share Image
Its so funny how the people who know the least about you, have the most to say. — Author Name Copy Share Image
I'm a natural clown, I suppose, in writing, and one has to accept that; I can't do anything about it. I have… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry.… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's so funny; I grew up in the Midwest, I have two older brothers, and you're just as competitive playing football as… — Jose Pablo Cantillo Copy Share Image
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don't… — Mackenzie Rosman Copy Share Image
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Do you think ladies’ eyebrows can communicate as well?” she asked. “No, they don’t have sufficient thicketry,” he said with authority. “Thicketry?”… — Anne Gracie Copy Share Image
Real men want women of any age who like them, who want to make them feel good and raise their testosterone level. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If I looked like him,” Tara said. “I’d want to have sex with myself. All the time.” — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
The hardest exercise for most of us fat people is that one where we push our chairback from the dinner table. — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. — Jerry M Wright Copy Share Image
When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
Life is like masterbation, you keep going until something good comes out of it — Brandon Blease Copy Share Image
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I wish my microwave had a 'stealth mode' so the people I'm living with don't know I'm having a midnight snack. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friends are people you can talk to... without words when you have to. — Elvis Presley Copy Share Image
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Whoa, don't assume, dude," Marco said. "My mom always said, when you assume you make an ass of u and me --” — Peter Lerangis Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of women who like to talk a lot; the married women and the single ones. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
