I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
That which is created in a relationship can be fixed in a relationship. — Murray Bowen Copy Share Image
While conscience is our friend, all is at peace; however once it is offended, farewell to a tranquil mind. — Mary Wortley Montagu Copy Share Image
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer Copy Share Image
I make home movies-therefore I live. I live-therefore I make home movies — Jonas Mekas Copy Share Image
When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talkto hear my robot voice...Lol. I still do… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A girl only needs three things in her life: love to make her weak, alcohol to make her strong, and friends to… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over,… — Luke Salisbury Copy Share Image
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
You know, the funny thing about awards - some people are, like, 'Well, it does validate the quality of the work or… — Jamie Hector Copy Share Image
“Gone are the days when the old country doctor would drive out to your house and amputate your infected leg for a… — Cuthbert Soup Copy Share Image
I'd love to get into some comedy, but people keep saying, 'You're not funny!' And I say, 'Well, fair enough.' I have… — Ciaran Hinds Copy Share Image
I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay.… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
“I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can't shuffle… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
