My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
Never underestimate me & mistake my silence as my surrender...That is just the sound of me RELOADING — Iris Thomas Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when you hit the wrong person even you want to hit someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you're a great finisher, you'll become popular. Joe Louis was a great finisher. — Mike Tyson Copy Share Image
Girl: when we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. boy: it's very kind of… — A Josland Copy Share Image
IF YOU PUT ALL YOUR BUSINESS ON FACEBOOK GUESS WHAT YOU WILL GET IN RETURN IT WON'T BE PRIZE MONEY ALOT OF… — Anthony Jiles Copy Share Image
I was a kid during the height of the Cold War. If I did something wrong, my parents just accused me of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes you stop talking to someone because you keep telling yourself that if they wanted to talk to you, they would. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace. — Brian Vaszily Copy Share Image
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they're like hey what are you doing here? and I'm just like… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is… — John M Eades Copy Share Image
