That awkward moment when being caught masturbating by your parents during orgasm — Dante Copy Share Image
The sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd rather have an enemy that slaps me in the face than a friend that stabs me in the back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny, the moment you dread the most, seeing yourself bald, is actually not such a bad moment at all. — Sylvie Meis Copy Share Image
If you're hired to be a funny person, you have to trust your judgment but also be open because sometimes you think… — Paula Pell Copy Share Image
I can't tell you how much we laughed on the set to have Alec Guinness in a scene with a big, furry… — Mark Hamill Copy Share Image
There are some people who can't sleep because they have insomnia, I'm one of those people who can't sleep because they have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful… — Aaron Swartz Copy Share Image
The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not… — Nathan Fielder Copy Share Image
Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be… — Ronak Gurung Copy Share Image
