Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Hold everything earthly with a loose hand, but grasp eternal things with a death-like grip — Charles Spurgeon Copy Share Image
For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for love, but on the stage. — John Dryden Copy Share Image
“You couldn't find your dick in the dark, you scheming, sleaze-mongering scumwad.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Actually the hardest films to make are comedies. In normal life, funny things happen by accident; to re-create those by design in… — Takashi Miike Copy Share Image
“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
Whatever I did, I always gravitated toward trying to be funny. If I was with friends, we were joking around. If I… — Colin Jost Copy Share Image
After 'Crocodile Dundee,' I turned down lots of stuff, most of it where I'd play the girlfriend of some funny man. — Linda Kozlowski Copy Share Image
It's funny, in some of the interviews I've seen that were done for the film, some people say things like, 'Oh, I… — Jim Woodring Copy Share Image
If you don't know what it is you're looking for you're NEVER going to find it. You have to be clear on… — Germany Kent Copy Share Image
It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
