I grew up in a funny household, and I love making people laugh. It brings me so much joy. — Natasha Rothwell Copy Share Image
If all else fails, get in bed at 8:00pm and watch a bunch of shit on tv. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Thanks for coming in early and staying late because I have kids and you don't. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me! — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
A rich person is not the one who has the most but the one who needs the least. — Jezreel Copy Share Image
I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time. — Martin Lawrence Copy Share Image
There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for… — Ben Feldman Copy Share Image
I enjoy doing comedy that is why I pursue it. I believe that life is hard enough already and full of drama… — Kim Wayans Copy Share Image
“No one is ever 'ready' to go on the adventure of a lifetime," Acatar replies sagely. "The only things you need to… — Arianna Fox Copy Share Image
“Besides, what do I know about being a wife? There are much more important qualities to have than a docile disposition.” — C.J. Redwine Copy Share Image
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. Dude, he told a friend, I've tried everything and those damn… — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
The reason we'd stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Crystal ball and candle light, I want your dance tonight. Show me the power of love as we stand together in the… — Santosh Kalwar Copy Share Image
