I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Dear normal people, I'm not weird, I'm limited edition. Sincerely, lighten up, you only live once. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Conflict is neither good nor bad. Properly managed, it is absolutely vital. — Kenneth Kaye Copy Share Image
I have a theory that women don't fart, they hold it in until it comes out as drama. — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
It would be pretty funny to see a Beverly Hills white girl with mad rap skills. — Tori Spelling Copy Share Image
Everyone keeps telling me the right guy will come around, but I think mine got hit by a bus. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Moe's the first character that I played that actually allowed me to embrace all parts of myself, including my physical appearance, the… — Kiana Madeira Copy Share Image
Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her… — Prince Andrew Copy Share Image
“I am not going to give you disclaimers about what you can expect to find in my story. I went through menopause… — BadSquirrel Copy Share Image
“Cat's friends seemed like very sweet girls," Dad says. "They were the bomb," I say fervently, and he looks back at me… — Maya Gold Copy Share Image
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's… — David Cross Copy Share Image
“You won't tell?" "I'll add it to the box under my bed labeled 'The Secret Confession of the Immortal Pia'. Good Lord,… — Jessica Khoury Copy Share Image
Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.. — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
![“[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.” quote by David Cross](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/bf1/david-cross-3386_blanket_on-the-dating-handbook-with-a-telescope_3033428.png)
