A building is not something you finish. A building is something you start. — Stewart Brand Copy Share Image
I'm just someone who likes making lots of things up and trying to be funny. That's about it. — Limmy Copy Share Image
Graduation Speech: Id like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste. — Brandi Isaacs Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when your daydreaming and you realise that your staring at something your not meant to. (.x.) — Jay Copy Share Image
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I think the doctor was the First one, who noticed that you are a real Vampire. Because when you were born,the doctor… — Stella Copy Share Image
Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?' — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
I put on a sticky note the word SWAG I stuck it on my light switch so every time I get up… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've seen people who are not very likeable but hilarious. I think comedians get to a point where they know they're funny,… — Ted Alexandro Copy Share Image
“Where's Quinn?' "He went around the other side." Connor replied. Stealth mode." A war whoop and a mocking laugh belied that comment.… — Alyxandra Harvey Copy Share Image
Discipline is doing what you are supposed to do in the best possible manner at the time you are supposed to do… — Mike Krzyzewski Copy Share Image
“He shook his head at himself as he walked out into the night. For guys, life was nothing but one big pissing… — Tami Hoag Copy Share Image
