I always try not to judge people. Which is probably why I lost my job as a judge — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
The new frontiers to be conquered are mainly in the convolutions of the cortex. — Arthur Koestler Copy Share Image
Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground. — USAF Ammo Troop Copy Share Image
Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The funny thing about the entertainment business is that we all feel like kids playing in a candy store, but we are… — Julie Plec Copy Share Image
I literally cringe every time I see someone trying to trash talk. Some people just don't have it and they try, and… — Alexander Volkanovski Copy Share Image
A couple is married for 47 years and the woman dies. At the funeral, the pallbearers swing the coffin, which hits a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid… — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It may sound funny, but I love the South. I don't choose to live anywhere else. There's land here, where a man… — Medgar Evers Copy Share Image
If you lose 50%, it takes 100% to get back to where you started-and that takes something you can never get back: time. — Tony Robbins Copy Share Image
I feel like a lot of Indian fans don't know about my Indian background, so it's funny online that a lot of… — Mustafa Ali Copy Share Image
A fashionable woman is always in love - with herself. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
