The modern writer who has influenced me most is W. Somerset Maugham . — George Orwell Copy Share Image
In the sermon I have just preached, whenever I said Aristotle, I meant St. Paul. — William Archibald Spooner Copy Share Image
I got the moves like jagger. LOL JK. I dance like & awkward penguinhaving a spasm! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you have cleared all of your clutter, you can be of greater service to those around you. — Michael Kitson Copy Share Image
I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The really funny thing is that most all of my friends who are priests have seen me perform, and they say, 'I… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I was growing up, I idolised my father. I thought his ghost followed me around the house. I had been told… — Aisling Bea Copy Share Image
I had a job interview at an insurance company once, and the lady said 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have no time to hate peoples who hate me because am too busy in loving peoples who loves me!!!! how about… — Ella B Copy Share Image
“I'm dating three men, living with two more, and having occasional sex with two others. That's seven men. I'm like a pornographic… — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
