Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. — David Beckham Copy Share Image
Good luck breaking into insular, well-established friend networks in your new city. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience.… — Rowan Atkinson Copy Share Image
Never put you'r Easter basket down and walk away then try and get it later. Some random kid will fight you to… — Joe Lecuyer Copy Share Image
In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Instead of improvisers who want to be funny by themselves, we aim to try and make the scene itself as funny as… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wouldn't overall say that "The Diagnosis" is a funny book. I would say that it has comic moments. It's a modern… — Alan Lightman Copy Share Image
There's something very funny about giving a menial task to a genius and watching him find so much complexity and overanalyse it… — Simon Helberg Copy Share Image
For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
