Funny Quotes · Page 355

My trouble is I analyze life instead of live it.

— Hugh Prather

He governed as if he felt predestined to never die

— Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Fear is nothing but idleness of the will...

— Eliphas Levi

Go so deep into yourself, you speak for everyone.

— Galway Kinnell

Anyone who ain't family is opposition

— Vinnie Paz

The essence of all beauty, I call love.

— Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If I die Imma do it reppin, I'll never do it second.

— Drake

A lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing.

— William Shakespeare

Putting on headphones and it seems like suddenly everybody wants to talk to yo

— Anonymous

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

— Flip Wilson

Are we done with law school yet? Seriously, we've been sitting here for years.

— Anonymous

Some women spend the first part of their lives looking for a husband, and the last part wondering where he is.

— Vikrant Parsai

People say nothings impossible, but I do nothing everyday.

— Nate

Wish I could take a sneak peek at my future and see if you'll be there... :]

— Joanne Lobedica

“Now you look like someone who is trying not to be someone, as opposed to nobody not managing to be anybody.”

— Robert Bryndza

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

— Steven Wright

What's the difference between the IQ of a stupid guy and one of a mosquito? About 5 points. How do you even…

— Anonymous

'Flying In A Blue Dream' was quite automatic. I was working on another song, and I took a break and picked up…

— Joe Satriani

Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and…

— Dave Barry

Let The Rock understand this, he beats your ass in cage match last week and now your the number 1 contender? Well…

— Dwayne Johnson

Okayy, I feel like I'm blowing up your newsfeed with things from my summer bucket list. Sorry! I'm done for now:P hahaha

— Anonymous

Funny enough, apart from when I was at school, I've always gone out with younger men - I was even married briefly…

— Arlene Phillips

I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change…

— Nikhil Saluja

“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to…

— Josh Stern

All writers are propagandists.

— Derrick Jensen

No one gets remembered for the things they didn't do

— Frank Turner

The Standard ... is the standard.

— Mike Tomlin

Do not nag yourself with a sense of failure

— Gordon B. Hinckley

We must meet violence with violence.

— Robert F. Williams

Never, never be afraid to do what's right.

— Martin Luther King, Jr

Play with your playstation don't play with me boys

— Sara

This is the hardest choice ever...

— Katie Grabil

Hope and fear cannot alter the seasons

— Chogyam Trungpa

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

— Phyllis Diller

I never had the blues; the blues always had me.

— Brownie McGhee

What batters you becomes your strength.

— Rainer Maria Rilke

Being onstage is everything thats good about life.

— Joan Jett

Earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy.

— C. S. Lewis

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

— George Carlin

Love rarely overtakes; it mostly comes to meet us.

— Wilhelm Stekel