Funny Quotes · Page 312

No one ever was the poorer for giving

— Anne Frank

I've always surrounded myself with funny people,

— Leslie Mann

As much as you can in your life, say yes.

— Mary Carillo

... what counts in life usually cannot be counted.

— Robert Gordis

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

— Priyanka

No generalization is wholly true—not even this one.

— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr

Don't make me LAUGH I'm Trying To Be Mad At You..:)

— Ritu

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

— Kevin Nealon

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching.

— Myself

I can't believe you haven't finished the thing I forgot to tell you to start.

— Anonymous

If the Plan A did not work,,, Dont worry; there are 25 more letters left to use.

— Unkown

I always had a group of friends who were funny, and we'd do sketches for the talent show.

— Heidi Gardner

Tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterdays omissions and regrets.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you have to fart. butt ur afraid of how it's going to sound

— Blah

HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient.

— Nikhil Saluja

Be thankful you're alive, have as much sex as possible. Because you will be a full on boner soon.

— Jeremy Limn

My dad was a really funny, really talented guy who had a great success in a limited audience. But from him, I…

— Joel Grey

DIRTY FIGHTER! all the kids hollered. I stop punching and looked up,mystified. Down on the island,this was the way we'd always fought.

— Anonymous

Search for meaning, eat, sleep. Search for meaning, eat, sleep. Die, search for meaning, search for meaning, search for meaning.

— Douglas Horton

“Bibi: Mi papá me dijo que esta vez no me va a apoyar con David Hasselhoff porque me estoy haciendo daño y…

— Mario Cantú Toscano

“I like to live every day like it's my last." Shallan nodded. "And by that I mean lying in a puddle of…

— Brandon Sanderson

I love Deadmau5 as a producer, as a person. He's super interesting. He's very funny to follow on social media. But as…

— Martin Garrix

I think a lot of comedic actors, on their close-up they can deliver. But when it comes to reacting to other people…

— Ken Jeong

Communication, trust, and affection, is the true foundation of every good relationship¦.. If one is missing¦.. LOVE cannot survive¦

— Green Monk

I did nothing. The Word did it all.

— Martin Luther

The whole damned country was depending on me.

— Joe Louis

Im a pretty organised traveller.

— Penny Lancaster

When you do not know of a thing say so plainly.

— Umar

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Optimism is a faith that leads to success.

— Bruce Lee

God is near whether you sense His presence or not.

— Max Lucado

Whatever you focus on is what you get.

— Tony Robbins

Abstraction is the enemy of meaning.

— Marshall Ganz

Children bring their own love with them when they come.

— Jean Ingelow

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

— Josh Billings

When I work I always find something.

— Maurice de Vlaminck

RIP to all the hoes dying for attention!

— Anonymous

If God wants it, it will happen.

— Mitch Albom

Who are we to trust if not our family?

— Pope Alexander VI

Until one has given all, one has given nothing.

— Georges Guynemer