Josh Billings

Stupidity,--unconscious ignorance.

— Josh Billings

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

— Josh Billings

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

— Josh Billings

[Science is] the literature of truth.

— Josh Billings

Method is the arithmetic of success.

— Josh Billings

Silence is a still noise.

— Josh Billings

Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.

— Josh Billings

Biography is the best form of history.

— Josh Billings

I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.

— Josh Billings

We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.

— Josh Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

— Josh Billings

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

— Josh Billings

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

— Josh Billings

It strains a man's philosophy the worst kind to laugh when he gets beat.

— Josh Billings

You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

— Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

— Josh Billings

Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.

— Josh Billings

Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.

— Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

— Josh Billings

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

— Josh Billings

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

— Josh Billings

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to…

— Josh Billings

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

— Josh Billings

Sekts and creeds ov religion, are like pocket compesses, good enuff tu pinte out the direction, but the nearer the pole yu…

— Josh Billings

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow.…

— Josh Billings

What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat…

— Josh Billings

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as…

— Josh Billings

If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues; but men are…

— Josh Billings

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the…

— Josh Billings

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.…

— Josh Billings

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in,…

— Josh Billings

As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to…

— Josh Billings

Taking from others never results in prosperity. If we steal from others, life will steal from us. There is an incredible abundance…

— Josh Billings

“There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle,…

— Josh Billings

Young widows still bide their time.

— Josh Billings

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.

— Josh Billings

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

— Josh Billings

Jealousy is one of love's parasites.

— Josh Billings

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

— Josh Billings

Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice.

— Josh Billings