The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't need a girlfriend my studies irritates me everyday, that's enough. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people. — Pamela Anderson Copy Share Image
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some — Zach Manal Copy Share Image
Old people have fewer diseases than the young, but their diseases never leave them. — Hippocrates Copy Share Image
My father was a very funny man, and one of my strongest recollections is hearing him laugh. He didn't like people who… — Mike Myers Copy Share Image
I refuse to endure months of expensive humiliation only to be told that at the age of four I was in love… — Noel Coward Copy Share Image
When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years… — David Bowie Copy Share Image
I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“This is Tez Jones,” I said. “He’s a police detective from Tampa.” “Oh, my,” said Martha, blinking up at him. “Is something… — Michele Bardsley Copy Share Image
It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
It's funny - the reason I started doing a podcast was because every time I was on someone else's podcast, I would… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
