Comedian Quote by W. C. Fields

“The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .”

W. C. Fields

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Comedian Doe Firsts Laughing Laughter States Verify

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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

W. C. Fields

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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

W. C. Fields

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

W. C. Fields

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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

W. C. Fields

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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake…

W. C. Fields

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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W. C. Fields

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields

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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

W. C. Fields

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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

W. C. Fields

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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

W. C. Fields

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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

W. C. Fields

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I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure.

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The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.

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My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary…

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I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and…

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It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore.

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I was a kid, and I would watch standup comics do the 'Tonight Show,' and if Johnny Carson liked you, he'd wave you over…

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Gary Greenberg is a thoughtful comedian and a cranky philosopher and a humble pest of a reporter, equal parts Woody Allen, Kierkegaard, and Columbo.…

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For me, comedians are like the epitome for everything great, and they terrify me. I just want to be them. I want to be…

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