Branches Quote by Stephen Colbert

Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.

— Stephen Colbert

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a…

— Stephen Colbert

We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and…

— Stephen Colbert

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.

— Stephen Colbert

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe.

— Stephen Colbert

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

— Stephen Colbert

Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.

— Stephen Colbert

Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.

— Stephen Colbert

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.…

— Stephen Colbert

I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd…

— Stephen Colbert

“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.”

— Stephen Colbert

Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for…

— Stephen Colbert