Humor Quote by Margaret Atwood

“then went to the refrigerator and got a small bottle full of blood.”

— Dean Koontz

“As the sound a duck makes, I feel qualified to give medical advice. My wisdom will cost you some bread, but it’s got less…

— Jarod Kintz

“No hospitals, she says. I know. Where are we going? For ice cream. What's your favorite flavor? Fuck you. That's my favorite, too.”

— Richard Kadrey

“I asked my doctor for the best gift ever: Life. Still, he wouldn’t take one for me.”

— Jarod Kintz

“And he'd looked straight back at her, holding her professional eye contact, and said yes, thankyou doctor, I do understand, yes. And he'd coughed,…

— Jon McGregor

All right, then. Emergency medical situation, take two.” He leaped to his feet, staggered, keeled over, then lifted his head weakly. “Chloe? Is that…

— Kelley Armstrong

“Now, master doctor, have you brought those drugs?”

— William Shakespeare

“I concentrate on the Absolut and cranberry I'm holding and it looks like a glassful of thin, watery blood with ice and a lemon…

— Bret Easton Ellis

“Did we have some understanding? That I was going to follow your nonmedical orders? Because I don't recall that in my personal life, I'm…

— Robyn Carr

“I come bearing gifts in the form of junk food. You’re welcome. I would have brought some drugs, but I’m not a doctor.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Hey, heads up. The hottest doctor in town just came by and coerced me into telling him where you were. I folded like a…

— Jill Shalvis

“I was going to kill that doctor when he shoved his finger up my ass but then I realized the possibilities of that substance.”

— Neal Stephenson