Funny Quote by Lauren Morrill

“What in the hell happened to your eye?” I laugh and roll off the bed, out of harm’s way. “You happened.” I make my…

— Colleen Hoover

“Two ugly fucks stand in front of me. One with a bald head covered in swastikas and the other covered in pimples that are…

— Clarissa Wild

“Maybe one day I’ll be a real boy. Maybe then my untruthful nose won’t be longer than my truthfully aroused penis.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My eyes are bloodshot. I look at my face and I think that I had someone who loved this face. And now he's gone.…

— Taylor Jenkins Reid

“Our eyes lock and the look he gives me feels like it could get me pregnant. I’m not even joking. Get here, straddle me,…

— T.L. Swan

“Next time you bend over a table, I’m going to wrap all that hair around my fist and pull your head back. I want…

— Tessa Bailey

“These times are hard, and so is my penis.”

— Jarod Kintz

“And don’t even get me started on penis size. Really, it just gets better the farther south your eyes go—trust me.”

— Rachel Van Dyken

“turn my head, and you may go where you want.     I turn it again, you will stay till you rot.     I have no face,…

— Neil Gaiman

“When i'm 58 years old and on my deathbed, i'd better see through my one good eye Matt drawing a donger on my forehead,…

— Chip Zdarsky

“I rolled my eyes and slipped the purple silk over my head, crawling in bed beside him. I straddled his lap and kissed his…

— Jamie McGuire

“Cause there's always someone, somewhere With a big nose, who knows And trips you up and laugh when you fall”

— Morrissey