Accepted Quote by Jay Leno

People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual…

— Craig Kilborn

Congratulations to Charlie Sheen, who's marrying his longtime girlfriend. I have to say...Charlie Sheen has a longtime girlfriend?

— Jimmy Kimmel

Arnold Schwarzenegger made his tax returns public, [and] now there's a problem about him stretching the truth. Apparently under occupation he put down 'actor.'

— Jay Leno

In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild, Michelle…

— Jay Leno

Even Arnold's adviser says he was shocked by his decision to run. I mean, his people were backstage that night and they had no…

— Jay Leno

“Not married. Mostly because no one has ever asked me,” Leah said lightly. Izzy pulled a disbelieving face. “Are the men in Melbourne blind?”…

— Sarah Mayberry

George Clooney says he's had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy.

— Conan O'Brien

I remember when I first got married, there was a certain amount of internet traffic on the subject of, "Who is this beard who…

— Ira Glass

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.

— Anonymous

Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor.

— Jay Leno

“Steve had just met the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Until now his engagement to Christine had never been a concern.”

— Stephen Douglass

“You're not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you don't. I'm trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me…

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips