Cream cheese Quote by Jarod Kintz

““Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I’d rather ride my roller skates to work.””

Jarod Kintz

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Cream cheese

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“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”

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“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”

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“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…

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“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…

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“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”

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“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…

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“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”

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“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”

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“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

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“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

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“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…

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“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…

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Explore all 6,921 Jarod Kintz quotes

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Aye ! Cream cheese & a bagle . Have a glass of milk & an ego . I'm rockin' pj's with no shirt . I smoke weed , eat yogurt .

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My cheat snack is bell peppers, cream cheese, and Takis.

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If you're associated with the Philadelphia media or town, you look for negatives. I don't know if there's something about their upbringing or they…

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“7. SUSHI IS ABOUT THE FISH, IDIOTS Sushi is raw fish, Fresh, oily, fatty, delicate, slightly cool, thinly sliced or expertly cubed sections of…

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“Double Chocolate Brownies 2 6-ounce bags semisweet chocolate chips 3 tablespoons butter ¾ cup granulated sugar 3½ tablespoons water 2 eggs ¾ cup flour…

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“For the cake: 2¾ cup flour 2½ tsp baking powder 2 cups granulated sugar 1 three-ounce package of strawberry Jell-O 1 cup butter, softened…

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“savory cheesecakes Makes 24 ½ cup seasoned bread crumbs 2 tablespoons melted unsalted butter 1 8-ounce package light cream cheese 1 egg ½ cup…

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“Piña Colada Cheesecake This tropical twist on my mother’s old-fashioned cheesecake was a hit at cruiser gatherings. For the crust 1 cup graham cracker…

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“We've been making solidarity cakes this morning in support of you, ma chere," Franco said. "We're featuring your to-die-for black walnut spice cakes with…

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