Autographs Quote by David Letterman

“This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'”

David Letterman

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.6 out of 5 (9 ratings)

Autographs Bin laden Borders Looks May Osama bin laden Pakistan Places to go Plastic Plastic surgery Said Surgery Tourists Way Week

More by David Letterman

Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it…

David Letterman

Image

You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and…

David Letterman

Image

It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.

David Letterman

Image

There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They…

David Letterman

Image

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

David Letterman

Image

Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.

David Letterman

Image

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since…

David Letterman

Image

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

David Letterman

Image

“There is no off position on the genius”

David Letterman

Image

I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to…

David Letterman

Image

Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really…

David Letterman

Image

If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.

David Letterman

Image

Explore all 619 David Letterman quotes

More Autographs quotes

I had a talent for copying the signatures of dignitaries like Indira Gandhi, Amitabh Bachchan and so on. So, I wanted to become someone…

Sanjay Mishra

Image

I'm closer to being happy. I'm doing things that make me happy. In football I loved to practice and I loved to play, but…

Ricky Williams

Image

I hate it when people come up to me on trains and ask 'Are you Soulja Boy?' If people want pictures or autographs, that's…

Soulja Boy

Image

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. Every job is a self portrait of the…

Vince Lombardi

Image

A presentation copy...is a copy of a book whoch does not sell, sent you by the author, with his foolish autograph at the beginning…

Charles Lamb

Image

My daughter sent me on a mission to get as many autographs as possible.

Billy Joel

Image

Autographs and pictures do get a little old, but I don't mind if the people want it.

Dominique Moceanu

Image

This hand is not very active always, because it was in this hand that I carried my books. My carrying hand was always my…

Haile Gebrselassie

Image

Autograph-hunting is the most unattractive manifestation of sex-starved curiosity.

Laurence Olivier

Image

One of the Canadian customs guards got suspicious and said 'Haven't you been coming and going across the border a lot lately?' I finally…

Hugh Jackman

Image

I usually don't mind giving autographs, but when hundreds of folks with paper and pen start coming at you, it's time to seek shelter.

Mary Lou Retton

Image

I have been sought out by a number of people who would have felt uncomfortable coming to a large public meditation. They don't want…

Frederick Lenz

Image

Browse all 260 Autographs quotes

Autographs Quote by David Letterman

Related quotes

More by David Letterman

More Autographs quotes