Skip to content

Bills Quote by Dave Barry

“I bought Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1415926, Windows 95,…” quote by Dave Barry — Download Open image

“I bought Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1415926, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows RSVP, The Best of Windows, Windows Strikes Back, Windows Does Dallas, and Windows Let's All Buy Bill Gates a House the Size of Vermont.”

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.4 out of 5 (10 ratings)

Bills Dallas Doe Funny Gates House Humor Microsoft Size Strike back Strikes Vermont Window

More by Dave Barry

This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…

Image

This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…

Image

The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…

Image

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Image

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Image

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…

Image

He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

Image

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

Image

If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…

Image

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…

Image

“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…

Image

Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.

Image

Explore all 867 Dave Barry quotes

More Bills quotes

If you’re a person struggling to eat and stay healthy you might have heard about Michael Jordan or Muhammad Ali, but you’ll never have…

Image

Some of the folks on both sides might be sincere, but it does seem as if it is only the opposition that cares about…

Image

[Sport officials] blocked their support of us. But those individuals [ Muhammad Ali, the Jim Browns, the Bill Russells, Kareem Abdul Jabbar ] were…

Image

Simple fairness dictates that government must not raise taxes on families struggling to pay their bills.

Image

[A]s you partake of the world's bill of fare, that's darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.…

Image

I will not agree to have this bill [to repeal DADT ] go forward, because our economy is in the tank.

Image

This is not really currency that circulates. It's like the old joke about expensive vintage wine. Wine prices will go up and once in…

Image

If Bill Gates left Microsoft we wouldn't allow Donald Trump to run it.

Image

Your goal should be to pay off your credit card bills in full at the end of each month and set aside money toward…

Image

He's fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see.

Image

There's nothing nice about Steve Jobs and there's nothing evil about Bill Gates

Image

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…

Image

Browse all 2,642 Bills quotes