Witty Quotes
- I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. — Imelda Marcos
- Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. — Don Marquis
- A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. — Don Marquis
- Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. — Don Marquis
- I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' — Demetri Martin
- If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! — Demetri Martin
- The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. — Demetri Martin
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. — Steve Martin
- I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. — Steve Martin
- But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. — Andrew Marvell
- I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. — Groucho Marx
- Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. — Groucho Marx
- All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. — Groucho Marx
- Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. — Groucho Marx
- One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. — Groucho Marx
- Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. — Groucho Marx
- Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. — Groucho Marx
- A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. — Groucho Marx
- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. — Groucho Marx
- Before I speak, I have something important to say. — Groucho Marx