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Should Quotes by Jack Handey
- My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our…
- Instead of building newer and larger weapons of mass destruction, I think mankind should try to get more use out of the ones we have.
- I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know…
- I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped…
- As we were driving, we saw a sign that said, "Watch for Rocks." Martha said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her…
- I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his…
- There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey," because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no…
- I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
- I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb…
- I think a new, different kind of bowling should be "carpet bowling." It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood.…
- Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.
- I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood…
- In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
- I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of…
- If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him…
- If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just…
- If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape…
- I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
- When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs…
- I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good…
- If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
- Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we…
- I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.
- I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on,…
- I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a…
More Should Quotes
- As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we think of… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- I love working with the right actor, and if the right actor happens to be unknown, that should be allowed, too, I… — J. J. Abrams
- It is just that we should be grateful, not only to those with whose views we may agree, but also to those… — Aristotle
- It is clearly better that property should be private, but the use of it common; and the special business of the legislator… — Aristotle
- It's our hearts and brains that we should exercise more often. You can put on all the makeup you want, but it… — Kevyn Aucoin
- The alliance should agree... to an effective NATO role against the new threats presented by international terrorism and weapons of mass destruction. — Jose Maria Aznar
- I would not suggest the U.S. should sit down with the North Koreans bilaterally immediately after they've fired missiles - because the… — Richard Armitage
- It is all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then. — Richard Armour
- I'm substantially concerned about the policy directions of the space agency. We have a situation in the U.S. where the White House… — Neil Armstrong
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash
- The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes. — Bella Abzug
- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe