"I think somebody should come up with a……" — Jack Handey
"I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?"
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Breed Quotes
This quote is filed under Breed Quotes,
one of 349 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Lies are sufficient to breed opinion, and opinion brings on substance.
— Francis Bacon
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There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.
— Dave Barry
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I've always thought if we don't want to enforce laws on the books, we should remove them from the books.…
— Michael Bloomberg
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Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.
— Emily Bronte
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There is the odd exception, like Albert Einstein, but as a breed, scientists tend not be very good at presenting…
— Bill Bryson
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What, then, is this new man, the American? They are a mixture of English, Scotch, Irish, French, Dutch, Germans, and…
— J. Hector St. John de Crevecoeur
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Ungrateful people breed negativity. No one gets any pleasure from giving to an ungrateful person. When you show appreciation, the…
— Paul McCabe
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One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most…
— Thomas Sowell
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I know of no pursuit in which more real and important services can be rendered to any country than by…
— George Washington
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Freedom is a condition of mind, and the best way to secure it is to breed it.
— Elbert Hubbard
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Old breed? New breed? There's not a damn bit of difference so long as it's the Marine breed.
— Chesty Puller
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Each man must not think only of himself, but also of his buddy fighting beside him. We don't want yellow…
— George S. Patton
See all 349 Breed Quotes »